A Part of You Here with Me
by Weasley's Revenge
Summary: There isn't really a way this could get much worse. Well… it could be twins.  And even then it wouldn't be that much worse.  Finding out that she's pregnant a month into a ten month long deployment sucks. Soldier!Finn AU. Rachel's pregnancy in ten parts.


i.

There are certain things that she should be prepared for. He's in the Army so of course he's been deployed before, and of course, he's going to be deployed again, but she's just never quite ready for it. Well, actually, she's not ready for it at all, and there is a lot of ugly crying. Some of the wives are so brave about it. They have families to act normal for. Kids to keep raising. But Rachel has Finn and Finn alone in their tiny house on base. He gets the orders a week before they are to ship out. So of course, they spend that week crying and making love and preparing for her to be alone. This is going to be his longest deployment yet. Ten entire months without him.

She will never tell him that sometimes she wishes he would've just done something simple. Become a chef or a producer or a sports broadcaster, or really anything that didn't make him leave her for months at a time.

That last morning before he leaves they are lying in bed together naked and wrapped in each other's arms and it isn't about sex. It's about feeling that connection—maybe for the last time—as the fire engulfs their bodies and they tumble into ecstasy together salty tears mingling as their tongues meld together. It won't be the last time.

ii.

There isn't really a way this could get much worse. Well… it could be twins. And even then it wouldn't be that much worse. Finding out that she's pregnant a month into a ten month long deployment fucking sucks. And she doesn't use the word fuck all that often. And how could she have not noticed it before. True enough she had only been about a month or so along when he'd left, but she still felt so stupid. Two months pregnant and her husband is in a foreign county risking death every day for eight months. She isn't sure if she can do this.

The discovery leads to some more really ugly tears and a few calls. Finn's platoon leader's wife, Debra, the den mother of all those left behind. The thing about Army wives is they all get it. They all know exactly where she's coming from. Debra calls her honey and comes over, and makes her tea, and holds her until the tears stop. Then they call the on base OB/GYN and make an appointment just to be sure.

iii.

Deb takes her to the appointment, and Rachel couldn't be more grateful. She and Finn are scheduled to have their weekly satellite video chat in a few hours, and this appointment is just in time for him to tell him the news if it's true. She's not sure if she wants it to be true or not.

Mostly she just wants Finn home safe, sooner rather than later. The doctor enters and she's all smiles and laughs, and Rachel almost wants to hit her because _really?_ She is just so nervous, but Deb just grabs her hand and squeezes it, and that makes things ok.

The internal ultrasound feels strange, but it tells them what they need to know. She's pregnant.

iv.

Telling him is the hardest part. The image is grainy and she misses his disheveled hair more than she has since the first time he had to shave it for boot camp, and isn't that a weird thing to think about—she hopes that their child has his hair. He seems tired, and she can't blame him. When they only have five minutes to spare before the next man gets his turn he finally say, "Babe, is something bothering you?"

And she blurts back, "I'm pregnant. Two months along." His only response is shocked silence.

"You're sure. _Sure sure?"_ He manages to choke out.

Her nod is meek, and she can see some tears start to form at the corners of his eyes. "We're going to be parents Finn, an—and you'll only be gone for a few months after it's born. Deb is really being so great about everything, and—"

He cuts her off finally realizing the logistics of it for himself. "Rach, I have to go just—just call my mom ok? Please call my mom because I don't want you alone, and she'll come—I know she will."

"Of course Finn. I love you."

"Love you too, doll." And then the screen goes fuzzy.

v.

She calls and tells Carol and Burt and both of her dads. They all congratulate her and ask if Finn knows. Carol makes plans to come and see her next week. They talk about what's going to happen closer to the due date and decide that Carol is going to move in with her two weeks before she's due and stay for about three weeks after the baby is born.

Now their families know. Now this is real.

vi.

He sees their daughter's ultrasound for the first time via weekly satellite chat, and she sends him a copy. She's keeping a pregnancy diary and sending the pages to him once a week because he doesn't want to miss a thing. It's hard. It's so so very hard, but they're making it work. In one of his care packages, she includes pictures of her body as it has changed.

He writes her a long letter about all the things he loves about her. She falls asleep holding it and crying as she rubs the spot where their baby's hand is pressed against her skin.

vii.

The first time she really truly feels abandoned is the first time she has a Braxton Hicks contraction. Because she's scared and alone, and it just _hurts. _And she needs her Finny bear. Deb is visiting her sister, and Rachel is alone in the house so she calls Linda, and Linda takes her to the hospital.

Rachel is so thankful for all of the wives around her. She doesn't know what she would do if it weren't for the women who live on base.

viii.

Carol moves into the house two weeks before her due date just as scheduled. The nursery is mostly completed thanks to Burt and her dads—the décor chosen by Kurt. Gender neutral sage green with brown furniture and accents, Kurt had called it "Army baby chic."

Rachel and Carol spend nearly two weeks doing nothing but telling stories, commiserating, and arranging the nursery for the new arrival. It's a waiting game now. Finn's CO carries a sat. phone with him on the off chance that Rachel goes into labor while he's on patrol. The Army can't give him paternity leave, but they are willing to let him be with her in the delivery room via phone or, if they're lucky, they'll get satellite video time.

Carol knows exactly how Rachel feels, and it's so nice to have someone else in the house.

ix.

She goes into labor two days before her due date, her water breaking in her sleep and waking her up. She just wants Finn there to hold her. To tell her that it's going to be ok, but instead, she gets Carol and her daddies and that's almost as good. When she's ten centimeter dilated and ready to push they finally call Finn. It's just after two in the afternoon there, and he's just gotten off of patrol. They have his voice on speaker.

"Babe, can you hear me? I'm here." His voice nearly pushes her into overdrive. She can't do this without him. She can't, she can't, she—"Rachel. I love you so much sweetie. I love you, and I love our child and you can do this. I wish I was there, doll."

"Finn, I can't. I can't do this without you," there are tears streaming down her face and Carol grips her hand tightly but doesn't say anything. The doctors are telling her to push.

"You're so strong Rachel. Stronger than me. Stronger than all of the guys out here. Do it for me, baby. I can't wait to meet our little guy or girl."

"I need you, Finn!" The doctors tell her to push again and this time she does. It's like she's being ripped open, and she screams squeezing Carol's hand.

Finn's breathing is steady on the other end of the line, "Good job, Rach. I know you can do this."

Things progress like that—lots of screaming and encouragement until finally—"Finn, do you hear that? That's our little Cecilia Jane."

x.

She feels like things are going to be different between them. There's no real reason for this feeling—they've kept in touch as well as they can, and of course, he's seen pictures of Cecilia. Her heart still aches when she remembers discovering that she was pregnant. Their two month old daughter is in her arms now snuggling content and alert in her mother's embrace.

All of the families are waiting together for the troops to file into the hall that is packed tight with people awaiting loved ones. It's been a long eight months—the longest of Rachel's life without Finn at her side, and she's had to lean on some of these women on more than one occasion. That's what it's like, though, when you're part of this giant Army family. They all look out for each other.

The large doors at the end of the hall open, and she sees the soldiers finally start to come out. It is pure emotion from that moment on. She stands on her tip toes and keeps trying to look for him until finally, finally she sees his head sticking up a few inches above the rest of the crowd. Cecilia has been so good and quiet for the past few hours and she stays just as complacent as Rachel calls Finn's name and runs toward him. They both pause for a moment just staring at each other. Drinking each other in.

The tears started falling down her face the moment she saw him, and now they pour down even more because he's here, and he's alive. She holds up their small daughter toward him and she sees the tears in his eyes forming as well, "Finn meet Cecilia." And his large hands take the small child—their first and cradle her to his khaki fatigues. Small, nimble fingers reach out and touch his face, and Finn and Rachel are both crying now.

"Hi, baby," he whispers to their delicate little daughter. Seeing him holding the child that he hadn't met until just now almost takes Rachel over the edge. Finn looks at her then and pulls her into one of the best hugs she's ever had—their daughter on his shoulder between them.

"Welcome home, Finn."

**AN: **Written for my lovely beta/brain twin/bestie Sam (sdl90). Part ten was originally a drabble for a request on Tumblr and she insisted that I make it an entire fic :). I hope I did it justice.


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